


4 Chords

by supergayheros



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Anxiety, Canon Trans Character, Depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, band au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-03-30 00:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19030660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergayheros/pseuds/supergayheros
Summary: Matteo's eyes sweep to the left, to the drum set, and nearly chokes on his drink.Fuck.Matteo has never met David before. He's heard bits and pieces about the boy from Jonas. That they had met during a sociology class at university and really hit it off during a group project. Matteo was told that he was smart and funny and talented at the drums. He was not told however that he was attractive. Like really, really attractive.OrA band au in which Jonas is the lead singer, Ger!Yousef (who is mostly just Norwegian!Yousef at this point) plays the bass, and David is the drummer. Matteo is still a hopeless gay gremlin.





	4 Chords

-1-

Fat water droplets fall fast and steady, soaking Matteo's messy blond hair straight through to his scalp. He grumbles to himself as he begins to jog, the neon lights of the bar finally in view. Not for the first time tonight he wishes he had thought to bring a jacket with a hood, or a hat, or _something._ He felt like a half drowned cat, wet and cold and grumpy. He probably looked just as bad too. This is all Jonas' fault anyway. The asshole.

Finally reaching the door to the bar, Matteo wrenches it open and ducks inside. He shakes his wet hair out in the doorway, fingers combing through the mess, probably hurting more than helping. When he looks up he sees the place is already rather full. It's a small building, a real whole-in-the-wall kind of place, smaller than the flat share even. Everything seems crammed in; the bar area to one side of the room closest to the entrance, and a small stage pressed to the back. People holding drinks stand in front of the performance area, blocking most of Matteo's view. But he can still hear the music loud and clear. The air is thick with the smell of smoke and body odor and boose. Really Charming _._

Matteo signs and presses forward, towards the bar, intent on getting a buzz on. He isn't supposed to, the doctor was fairly clear on that during their last meeting, but fuck it. Anxiety is already crawling up his throat from being in an unfamiliar place, and he desperately needs something to do with his hands. Matteo really doesn't want to be here, around these people, or any people for that matter. He wants to be curled up under his mountain of blankets. Away from the whole world. But before he can change his mind and head home, back through the rain, Jonas' words from a week before roll over and over in his head.

_"Come on man you promised you'd come and see us! It's been a month dude! And your doctor said taking the meds isn't the only thing you gotta do to get better. You need to leave your room, for once. Just one night, please."_

He fucking hates when Jonas is right. He really does.

As if on cue, Matteo hears Jonas thank the small crowd, mouth pressed close to the mic. Starting right in on another one of his original songs. It's one Matteo's heard a million times, a sad and sappy love song he wrote for Hanna shortly after their breakup. Not that Jonas would ever admit that it was for her. After thanking the bartender and paying for his drink, Matteo pushes off towards the band. He's late, having struggled to find the will to get out of bed in the first place, but if Jonas sees him here he knows all will be forgiven. Pushing by an intertwined couple swaying to the music, he finally catches sight of his best friend on stage. Surprisingly, his heart actually constricts a little at the sight.

Matteo has seen Jonas sing and play the guitar for years, ever since he first started. But even as familiar as it is, it's different too. It had always been a more private thing, for the boys and Hanna, for his friends. Jonas playing for a crowd of strangers, no matter how small, is a huge accomplishment. The pride and love he feels nearly chokes Matteo. He mentally kicks himself for not coming to one of his gigs sooner. He should have been here for their first show.

They reach the chorus, words Matteo knows, and is tempted to sing along with. He hums under his breath instead. Jonas catches his eye and grins around the shape of the lyrics. Pressing his smile into his beer, Matteo flashes him a cheesy thumbs up.

Yeah, he should have come to one of their gigs sooner. But he was here now.

Pushing passed a few more fairly drunk people to the very front, he finally sees the entire stage. To Jonas' right stands Yousef, a friend the boys met through Amira, playing the bass. He doesn't notice Matteo yet. His body is curled around his guitar, head bowed. He smiles to himself as he remembers Jonas' reaction to learning about Yousef's talent for music. It's really no surprise he got roped into this band idea. An idea that only really came together after Jonas found them a proper drummer. Matteo's eyes sweep to the left, to the drum set, and nearly chokes on his drink.

Fuck.

Matteo has never met David before. He's heard bits and pieces about the boy from Jonas. That they had met during a sociology class at university and really hit it off during a group project. Matteo was told that he was smart and funny and talented at the drums. He was not told however that he was attractive. Like really, _really_ attractive.

His hair is dark, shaved on the sides and tall on the top. It looks soft and perfect. Everything about his face is strong and pronounced; his sharp jawline, sculptured eyebrows, full lips. A flash of silver in his nose, a septum piercing. His warm brown skin is shiny with sweat, cheeks flushed a beautiful red from exertion. A black tee shirt leaves his arms bare, and Matteo can see where the cords of muscle work under the skin. Hands, deft and sure and scarily tantalizing as they grip the drum sticks, making beautiful music. From here Matteo knows he wants, no needs, so see David up close. If only to determine exactly what shade of brown his eye are.

Eyes that flicker up to meet Matteo's. Shocked, the back of his neck prickles and he can feel his cheeks flame red. He's been caught staring. And David's gaze isn't letting Matteo go. He can feel it, like a burn, moving over him. It's the most charged stare Matteo has ever been subject to. Charged with what, he's not sure.

All at once he's reminded of how awful he must look. His hair is a disheveled mess, and not the attractive kind, from the rain and lack of combing. His skin feels oily and he's breaking out right between his eyes.There's a frayed hole in the right sleeve of his sweater, put there by Matteo himself from excessive chewing. Why hadn't he showered? Why hadn't he picked better clothes? It's all he can think about.

The panic crawls up Matteo's throat like a tangible thing. The people, the music, _David_. All at once it becomes too much. He spins around, beer sloshing all over his hands. Quickly he makes his way to the bathroom, shouldering people out of the way to get there. The door slams shut behind him and he tosses his drink into the trash. It's a small bathroom, two stalls, one sink. Blessedly he seems to be the only one there, both stalls open and vacant. Breathing out harshly, he makes his way to the sink. He cleans the sticky beer from his hands and raises his wet palms to his face, pressing them over his eyes till he sees colors behind his eyelids. He breaths out again, slower this time.

_Get it together Matteo._

He doesn't know why he's freaking out this bad. He's seen attractive men before. But maybe the problem is he's never felt so seen by attractive men before. Matteo can still feel David's eyes on him, a heavy thing. Letting his hands fall to his side Matteo stares back at his reflection. He frowns. What is it David saw? Just this? Just him? But no. There had to be something more, to keep his gaze, his attention. Matteo shakes his head, exasperated with himself. He turns to the door determined to go back out there and act normal. He was here for Jonas after all.

Matteo sticks to the back of the crowd. It's safer there, for now, until the panic completely subsides. Sans drink and without anything to do with his hands, he shoves them into the pockets of his oversized jeans. By the time the set is coming to a close, the night growing very late, he's completely calmed down. He feels stupid now about his reaction, its really shouldn't have been such a big deal. Why does he always make things such a big deal?

Jonas thanks the thinning crowd one last time for coming. Matteo gives him a lazy smile as he approaches the stage. He keeps his eyes on Jonas, not allowing them to stray to the left.

"Mr. Florenzi! You came!" Jonas shouts. Matteo rolls his eyes in response. After setting down his guitar Jonas jumps down from the short stage. They pull each other into a quick bro-hug, patting each other on the back twice before letting go.

"Look at you, superstar." Matteo teases.

"Fuck you," Jonas laughs. "What did you think? I'm glad you came."

Yousef passes the two with a clap on Matteo's shoulder and a quick "thanks for coming man," before heading to the bathroom. Jonas' eyes light up, previous question forgotten.

"Oh hey! David! Come meet my friend Matteo!" He yells, excited. Instinctively Matteo's eyes flick to the other boy. He's standing now, his hands over his head, stretching. A sliver of skin is exposed as his tee shirt rides up. Matteo's eyes flicker away again. He hears David approach.

"Na?" His voice is soft and musical. Matteo meets his eyes. They're a stunning shade of dark brown. His lashes are long and dark and thick. Matteo wants to count them.

"Hey," Matteo answers, feigning nonchalance. David offers his hand to shake. Stealing himself, Matteo takes it. The boys hand is warm and calloused and fits perfectly against his own. His grip is firm and lingering, releasing Matteo's maybe a beat too late. His gaze lingers even longer.

"Im Matteo," He supplies, unsure of what else to say.

"David," Again, that voice. Completely unfair.

"I'm gonna go grab a water and talk to the manager real quick. I'll be right back to help break everything down." Jonas says, completely oblivious to whatever this _thing_ is between the two men.

"I'll help. Breaking things down I mean," Matteo blurts out. Jonas' eyebrows immediately shoot up into his hairline.

"You? You're offering to lift heavy things? To help?" Jonas asks, voice dripping with disbelieve. Matteo pulls a face and pushes him on the shoulder. Letting himself be pushed, Jonas laughs and shakes his head. "Well ok, I'll be right back then. David can show you what to do till I get back."

Jonas leaves them then and the two boys stand their for a moment, just looking at each other. Matteo raises his eyebrows and smiles lazily.

"Alright, show me what to do."

They spend some time taking apart David's drum set and lugging it into Yousef's van that's parked out back. Matteo's breath is labored and his muscles ache by the time they get the last of it in. He really needs to exercise more, or at all. David seems unfazed. Matteo flops onto the pavement, back resting on the back wheel, groaning. David laughs. It's a beautiful sound, makes Matteo's stomach flip.

"You ok?" David asks, voice amused and teasing.

"Ugh," Matteo answers, throwing an arm over his face dramatically, playing it up. It grants him another laugh from David. He covers his grin with the inside of his elbow.

"Well thanks for the help anyway." David says, sounding sincere.

"Yeah well, you owe me now." Matteo shoots back. He doesn't know where the confidence comes from. Maybe it's just hearing Davids warm voice, his twinkling laugh. He just wants to keep hearing it.

"Oh do I?" David asks. He leans his shoulder against the van next to Matteo, looking down at him with a sharp grin on his face. Matteo swallows and looks up at him through his lashes. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth.

"Yeah, you do," Matteo says, voice going a little soft around the edges.

Jonas and Yousef chose that moment to bust through the back door. Their carrying their instruments and laughing loudly. Matteo stands, wiping his pants off and clearing his throat. His shoulder brushes David's, magnetic. But then David moves away, helping the boys get the rest of the equipment into the back of the van.

"Hey you wanna ride home dude?" Yousef calls out as he slams the back doors closed. It takes a moment before Matteo realizes he's talking to him.

"Oh, yeah. That would be cool."

Matteo ends up in the back seat with David, Yousef driving and Jonas in shotgun. There's a small amp between them on the seat. Matteo doesn't know if its a blessing or a curse. The boys talk animatedly about the show. They've been playing at the bar once a week for the past month; Jonas having weasiled their way in because he has an aunt who knows the owner. The pay is shit, probably hardly even covers gas expenses, but it's something. Jonas says he thinks he saw familiar faces that night; people coming back after having seen them play a few weeks prior. Matteo feels the pride seep into his bones again, making him feel warm.

The van pulls up to Matteo's shared apartment. He pulls open the door, saying bye to Yousef and promising to text Jonas tomorrow as he hops out. Before he shuts the door, he turns to look at David again.

"It was cool meeting you," He says.

"Yeah. It was cool meeting you too." David answers with a small, private smile. The door slides shut with a heavy sound.

That night, Matteo dreams of David's eyes.

-2-

It's a week and a half later and Jonas and Matteo are playing through Portal 2 together for the millionth time. They're sprawled all over the couch, knees knocking together and a bag of half devoured corn chips between them. His eyes sting from staring at the screen for so long. They're not even really trying to solve the puzzle at this point, just fucking around with the physics and seeing who can come up with the most elaborate death in each level. Matteo thinks he's winning.

All of a sudden an alarm pings on Jonas' phone. He pauses the game and sits up, grasping for the device from his pocket. Matteo takes the time to munch on a few more dry chips. He kind of wishes he was high. Food always tastes better when he's high. But he can already hear Jonas' voice just at the thought of weed.

_"But your meds! Matteo you have to take care of yourself. You know what the doctor said."_

He wants to roll his eyes at mental Jonas, but real Jonas swears under his breath when he unlocks his phone.

"Shit. Band practice, I totally forgot. I'm sorry dude, I gotta head out." Jonas' voice is reproachful. They haven't seen each other for a few days, Jonas busy with school and Matteo busy with work. They had a plan of gaming and pizza and horror movies tonight that now has to be cut short.

At the mention of the band, Matteo stills, chip frozen half way to his mouth. The band. _David_. For the past week and a half he hasn't been able to forget him and his eyes and his voice and his hands. It's a little worrying really, this hang up he has. Because Matteo barely knows the guy. They shared a handful of words and some lingering eye contact while lugging heavy band equipment around.

"Can I come?" Matteo is asking before he can stop himself. Jonas pauses gathering his things to shoot him a look. The chip becomes grimy dust between Matteo's fingers, falling all over the couch and his sweater.

"To practice?" Jonas asks, confused.

"Yeah uh," Matteo starts, trying to act casual. "I mean I haven't seen Yousef in a bit. And I wouldn't mind listening to you guys play."

"Yousef," Jonas states, sounding incredulous now.

"Yeah," Matteo should have kept his mouth shut. Of course it's not about Yousef. Jonas is going to see right through him. But before he can start to panic, Jonas' face smooths out of its confused twist and he shrugs.

"Sure dude, lets go."

The band practices in David's apartment. The building looks run down from the outside, but inside it looks loved and clean and eclectic. Matteo feels a little awkward walking through to the living room behind Jonas. But mostly he's curious. He wants to look at all the knick knacks and hanged paintings and the potted plants. Yousef and David are already in the living room when the two other boys enter.

"Oh, Matteo, dude! Hey!" Yousef says when he sees them. David looks up at them, eyebrows raised. Their eyes meet again, eyes Matteo has dreamed about. David grins.

"Sup," Matteo says. He doesn't really know if it's directed at Yousef or at David if he's honest with himself.

"Yeah Matteo just wanted to hang out, I hope that's cool." Jonas says, attaching his guitar strap.

"Of course," David answers, eyes finally leaving Matteo's as he positions himself behind his drums.

Matteo sits on a worn loveseat and watches the boys play. Or well, he mostly watches David. But the other boys are there too, so it counts. They joke around and tease each other and make music together. Matteo isn't once tempted to look at his phone for a distraction. He sits and watches and makes stupid remarks. Sometimes David watches him back.

It becomes a routine over the next few weeks. Matteo works and hangs out with his friends from high school and sees his therapist and chills at band practice and no one ever questions why he's there. His therapist says routine is good. And Matteo feels good. He hasn't felt this good without the help of weed and alcohol for a long time.

Sometimes Matteo shows up to practice with Jonas after hanging out together, but today he makes his way there alone. He climbs the stairs to the apartment with a bounce in his step and knocks on the door. He only has to wait a minute before the door swings open and reveals David in all his glory. He's wearing a soft looking black hoodie and gray sweatpants. Matteo swallows thickly. He looks good. And confused.

"Hey, Matteo. Did Jonas not tell you? Practice was cancelled. Yousef's not feeling too well." David says and Matteo instantly feels a jolt of panic.

"Oh- uh, no. I. Sorry," Matteo stutters, feeling so fucking stupid. He takes a step back, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. Fucking Jonas. David smiles softly and opens the door a little wider.

"It's ok. Do you. Do you maybe wanna come in and hang out anyway?" He says, inclining his head. Matteo's breath catches. Sure they've hung out a few times now, and it's not like he hasn't been in his apartment before. But it's never been just the two of them. It's not an opportunity he's willing to pass up. He nods and follows David inside.

"Do you want anything to drink? A beer maybe?" David asks, turning to face Matteo. Matteo clears his throat awkwardly. His hand goes to the back of his neck, rubbing at the shaved edges of his undercut.

"I uh. I'm not supposed to drink actually. It messes with my meds." He can feel his face go warm and red. Normally he'd just say fuck it and accept the drink. But he's really been trying to be good. His therapist gave him another firm talking too during his last visit when he admitted to drinking occasionally still. David just nods, showing no signs of judgment from Matteo's confession.

"That's chill. How about a soda then?" He asks instead, already moving towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, sure, thanks." Matteo says, grateful David doesn't ask any questions. Left alone in the living room, Matteo pokes around. He stops at a framed photo of David and his sister Laura that's hanging on the wall. Their faces are squished together, both grinning wide. Matteo has meet her once before and she seems nice enough. Strangely she has this energy about her that makes Matteo feel calm.

Moving on from the photo he plops down in front of the drum set. It doesn't look new by any stretch, but it seems well cared for. Not that Matteo knows much about instruments anyway. He picks up the drum sticks and spins them in his hands. He's seen David do the same thing a few times, he always looks so good with them in his hands. He always looks good, period. David re-enters the room with two cans of coke in his hands. He chuckles when he sees Matteo fumble with the drum sticks. Matteo grins, preening. Every time he can get David to laugh is a victory. He hits the drums. A soft little- ba dum tss. David laughs even harder.

The two settle on the love seat, sipping the chilled sodas and looking at each other with lazy smiles.

"So how did you start playing the drums," Matteo asks, breaking the comfortable silence. He's genuinely curious. He's curious about everything that is the other boy. David gives a thoughtful hum, placing his can down on the small coffee table.

"I started in high school," David says. He looks out into the room, like he's looking into his past. He gives a sad little smile. "I needed an outlet. I was always into art. I draw. But I needed something more physical. And I could only go on so many runs a day. So Laura suggested I take up the drums."

"The artsy jock," Matteo teases, watching David's mouth lift into a smile in profile. Every angle is a good angle to watch David smile. "You seem to really love it."

Witnessing David drumming always felt like a privilege. Like Matteo was spying on something personal he wasn't supposed to see. When David's eyes close and his face goes all focused and intense, it's like magic. David turns and fixes Matteo with an heavy stare.

"I do love it," He admits. "What about you Mr. Florenzi. What do you love?"

"What?" Matteo chuckles awkwardly.

"You never talk about yourself. What do you like to do?" David turns his body fully, looking at Matteo head on. Matteo thinks for a minute before answering.

"Well. I like video games. And cooking. I like to cook. I work at a restaurant" Matteo finally answers.

For a while after high school, things were pretty bad. His depression got worse, spiraling till he couldn't even get out of bed. He didn't know what he was going to do with his life. All his friends had plans for college and work and Matteo had nothing. Well not nothing. He had Jonas and the boys. They helped him by finally convincing him to go see a doctor, where he was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. After that they helped him find a job. He worked cleaning dishes for a while, which sucked pretty bad. But soon enough he was moved up the line. And now he makes money doing something he really enjoys.

"Oh yeah? What do you like to cook best?" David asks with a smile. They're close on the small couch, legs almost touching. His eyelashes flutter, impossibly distracting. Holding onto the cold, damp soda can keeps Matteo from doing something stupid. Like reaching out and touching David's pretty pink cheeks.

"Pasta a la Luigi." Matteo says and David gives a surprised snort. He's heard Jonas call him Luigi before, and had given the same snort then.

"Italian huh? Of course. Mr. Matteo Florenzi." His voice is teasing. The way David says his name makes a pleasant shiver go up his spine. Is this flirting? Is that what this is? Matteo's never flirted with a boy before. He's not sure he knows how.

"Well, you'll have to make it for me someday." David says, sounding nonchalant. Matteo's stomach flips.

"But uh," He starts before taking a sip. His mouth feels bone dry all of a sudden. "But you're the one who owes me. Remember?" He alludes to their first meeting. _You owe me. Oh do I? Yeah, you do._ David's voice back then, his eyes. They look the same now. Piercing and warm.

"I do seem to remember something like that, yeah" His voice is the same now too. Teasing and low. "But i've got to admit i'm a pretty shit cook."

Matteo feels bold now for whatever reason. The first time their eyed had met, Matteo had panicked. All the other people, the sounds, it was too much. But now, alone, Davids eyes on him only make him want to press closer, not to run away.

"Well I never said you owe me food." Matteo points out. David's eyebrows raise, grin spreading across his face. "I want to see your art."

"Oh yeah?" David sounds a little surprised, like that's the last thing he expected Matteo to say. But the grin doesn't fade. Matteo nods.

"Yeah."

David's room is exactly what Matteo expects. A table pressed against the window is overflowing with art supplies, doodles and movie posters are hung up on every wall, and a potted plant stands next to his large bed. _His bed._ Matteo swallows and looks away from it. But then David grabs a little book from his table and sits right down on the edge of his bed like its nothing. And to him it probably is. He's probably straight. Matteo mentally kicks himself before joining David on the bed.

David hands Matteo the book, looking a little sheepish. Its worn and the cover is a little cracked. Matteo handles it delicately. He slowly flips through the pages, David nearly vibrating next to him, leg bouncing nervously. They're good. Really good. Matteo knows shit about art but he knows he loves David's work. He pauses on one, an image of a tree with a bird pasted over it.

"I like how you add things. Like how you glue other stuff to your drawings. It’s cool." Matteo says, finger tracing the bird.

"It's called collage," David teases. He seems to relax as soon as Matteo speaks up. They both laugh like school boys, heads bending over the book. When they finally settle down again Matteo clears his throat. He speaks, eyes stuck to the picture.

"So uh. We're having a party next Friday, me and my flat mates. For my old roommate Mia who's visiting for the weekend. Would you maybe want to come? Jonas will be there, and Yousef too. And you could meet my other friends. You could bring Laura, if you want" Matteo trails off, voice hesitant. They're both quiet for a moment. Matteo blushes hard. He wishes he was that bird. But then David speaks.

"Yeah. Yeah I'd love to." His voice is so warm and sweet, like honey. Matteo looks up again, sees his smile, his beautiful eyes. He smiles back.

"Yeah? Awesome. Give me your phone, we can trade numbers and I'll text you the address and stuff."

-3-

Mia arrives Friday afternoon. As soon as she crosses the threshold of the apartment Hans gathers her into a crushing hug. He babbles on about how much he's missed her while Mia laughs. Finally detangling herself from an overly affectionate Hans, Mia is able to actually come fully inside and put her things down. Linn presents her with a hole ridden scarf that she made while looking for a new hobby. Mia thanks her with a bright pink kiss on the cheek, Linn beaming. Matteo and Mia share small smiles and a hug. He breathes in her perfume and holder her tighter. He's really missed her around the flat. The four of them spend a few hours just chatting, catching up. Even though they all still use the old flatshare group chat fairly often and there really isn't much to catch up on. Its nice.

When the sun starts to set Hans orders everyone to start preparing for the party, except for Mia, who he forbids from leaving the confines of the couch. Jonas, Carlos, and Abdi show up early to help set everything up. Though they really just end up impeding the process by distracting Matteo. It feels like high school again, but better, so much better.

The party is in full swing and Matteo is standing against the wall with a solo cup full of fruit punch, watching the door like a hawk. He had been trying to have fun with his friends, but as soon as people started arriving he couldn't keep his mind from wandering to David. His skin tingles with anticipation. Earlier in the week Matteo had texted him the details of the party like promised. ' _See you there!'_ Had been Davids reply. The words has made a stupid grin appear as soon as he read them. _See you there, see you there, see you there._ Matteo takes a sip of his drink to try and keep the smile from breaking across his face again.

Someone bumps his shoulder and Matteo turns to look. It Jonas. Matteo bumps him back.

"You alright dude?" Jonas asks. Sweet Jonas, always concerned, always ready to listen. Matteo nods. The smile wins, growing slowly. Jonas raises an eyebrow and smiles back. "It's David, isn't it?"

The question surprises Matteo. His eyes instantly snap to the door, thinking Jonas is announcing his bandmates presence. Matteo frowns when he sees that's not the case.

"What's David?" Matteo asks, confused. Jonas gives him a look, and Matteo stares back blankly.

"That smile. And the fact that you've been watching the door this entire time." Jonas finally says. "It's about David. He told me he was gonna be here tonight."

Matteo feels himself go bright red. They had never really talked about boys before. Sure, Matteo had come out to Jonas a while ago, and he had been nothing but supportive. All of Matteo's friends were. But they never talked about his crushes, because before now he hadn't really had one to talk about. Except for his ill advised crush on Jonas himself. But that was long over. And this crush on David felt different than that. It didn't feel like he was projecting, like maybe the feelings could actually be mutual.

"Am I that obvious?" Matteo's voice is colored with embarrassment. Jonas doesn't notice much. So if he noticed this, it must be as subtle as a neon sign.

"Nah," Jonas waves it off, clearly trying to make Matteo feel better. "I mean. It's really just because you started coming to band practice. I didn't notice at first but. I mean let's be honest it wasn't the thought of seeing me or Yousef that got you out of the house all those times."

"Oh shut up," Matteo laughs. "I leave the house."

"I know you do dude," Jonas says, voice going soft and kind and embarrassing. "I'm really proud of you, you know that?"

Matteo looks down, hair covering his eyes. Feeling flustered and warm inside. He does know that. But it still feels good to be reminded.

"But uh, hey. Davids a pretty good looking dude huh?" Jonas teases. The two laugh and push each other, liquid threatening to pour out of Matteo's cup. He feels less nervous now, more centered, just from a few words with Jonas. And when he looks up, he sees him. David. Walking through the door with his sister Laura. He looks amazing in a geometric button up and dark jeans. Matteo swallows. Jonas follows his eyes and smiles.

"Go get em tiger," Jonas says before pushing off the wall and making his own way over to Abdi and Carlos. Matteo breathes out slowly. He can do this. And no matter what happens, at the end of the day he has Jonas and his flatmates and all his friends.

Matteo wades through the party, eyes on David the entire time. Laura is saying something into his ear and he's smiling this beautifully blinding smile, all teeth and gums. Brown eyes flash up, meeting Blue ones. And now that sunshine smile is directed right at Matteo. It nearly knocks the wind out of his lungs, the power of it. David pulls Laura along, and the three meet in the middle. People are dancing and singing and talking all around them, so Matteo has to lean in when he talks.

"You came!" He shouts over the noise. "Both of you!"

"I told you we would!" David calls back. Matteo has to rip his stare away from him to address Laura. Looking at David for too long can be like looking straight at the sun.

"Do you want something to drink? I can show you the kitchen." Matteo offers, gesturing to his own cup. Laura grins. She's pretty, with curly brown hair, a prominent nose, and a beautiful smile. It must run in the family.

"I'm sure I can find it. You guys have fun!" She says with a wink before disappearing through the crowd of people. Matteo watches her go, fascinated how people seem to part for her much easier than they ever would for him. He smiles and shakes his head.

"You wanna come meet some of my friends? And you can say hey to Jonas." Matteo asks. He can see Jonas with Abdi and Carlos on the couches drinking and laughing.

"Sure," David agrees, cheeks pink. They always seem to be pink. It's truly maddening. Without thinking too much about it, Matteo grabs David's hand in one of his own so he doesn't lose him in the shuffle. David's hand is warm and dry and Matteo hopes his isn't sweating. They make their way over to the couches, holding tight to each other, Matteo leading the way.

"David!" Jonas cheers when he sees them approach. David waves with his unoccupied hand, and when they finally reach the other boys, Matteo releases his grip. It feels like a loss when he does. He's already thinking up excuses to hold it again.

"This is Abdi and Carlos," Matteo supplies, pointing to each of them. They nod at each other, and Abdi lifts his beer in greeting.

"I think I've met you guys once before. At our first show." Says David, and a wash of guilt overtakes Matteo. Of course they had been to Jonas and the bands first gig. And Matteo hadn't been. He has to remind himself that it's ok. That Jonas had some friends there when he needed them, and that was what was important. Even though Matteo couldn't be there too. That he did make it to a show, eventuality. And It won't be the last one he sees by a long shot, he can promise Jonas that much.

"Oh yeah. For like, a second. I had to drag Abdi outta there because he got drunk off his ass," Carlos muses, and they all laugh.

"Mmm yeah. I seem to remember him having a lot to say about a 'Sam'. Or at least that's what it sounded like through all the slurring." David answers, grin wicked and voice teasing. Matteo snorts, he can see it now. Abdi sure knows how to make an impression.

"Oh man, fuck you." Abdi groans. "All of you shut the fuck up. Stop laughing!"

"God he's pathetic about her. Ever since high school. It's ridiculous." Matteo laughs, Abdi glowering in response.

"Well it's not like I see you getting any Mr. Florenzi!" Adbi shoots back. Jonas' eyes go from David to Matteo and back again.

"Pffft, I'm sure Matteo's fight'n off hot dudes left right and center." Jonas says casually. Matteo can feel David's eyes on the side of his face. Hot _dudes._ Very subtle Jonas, very subtle.

"Well why don't you go talk to her?" David asks.

"He's too much," Carlos says. "They've been doing this push and pull thing forever. He pushes, she pulls away. He's just too much." He says it while ruffling Abdi's hair, like that will lessen the blow. Carlos pouts, but stays quiet.

"Well has he told her how he feels?" At the words, the boys look at David with various levels of incredulous. Matteo just looks.

"I mean," Abdi starts, speaking slowly. A frown wrinkles the space between his eyebrows. "I give her food and stuff. And ask her to hang out sometimes."

David laughs, hand going to his forehead like he can't believe how this group of idiots have made it this far.

"But have you _told her_ how you _feel_. Have you been direct?" David asks. There's a moment of silence, or as silent as it can be during a house party.

"Fuck! Your right!" Abdi shouts. "Dudes, I'll be back!" And with that he bounds from the couch and makes his way over to Sam and Hanna.

"Oh I've gotta see this," Carlos says, following Abdi.

Jonas looks at Matteo for a second eyebrows raised and grin wide. Matteo can practically hear him in his head. _'Be direct!'_ Without a word, Jonas follows the others, leaving Matteo and David alone. They sit down on the abandoned couch together. Direct. Matteo can do direct.

"I'm glad you came." Matteo confesses. To direct? Not direct enough?

"I'm glad I came too," David says with a soft smile. The fruit punch Matteo's been holding onto has gone warm at this point. He downs it in one gulp to try and occupy his mouth, unsure of what to say next. Thankfully, David doesn't seem to have the same issue.

"Oh man!" He shouts excitedly. "I love this song!"

Matteo raises an eyebrow and pauses to listen. It's just a shitty pop song, not unlike the dozens that have played before it.

"What?" Matteo laughs, face scrunching up. "This song?"

"What's wrong with this song!?" David's outrage is clearly for show. He can't keep a grin from his face to save his life.

"You're in a band! Your supposed to have better music taste then this." The song is nothing like the stuff Jonas writes, that the band plays. It's a song with meaningless lyrics that drunk people can grind to and nothing more.

"Oh come on, it's a good song to dance to." David defends. Matteo takes a breath. No time to wade in. He's got to take the plunge straight into the deep end.

"Yeah?" Matteo asks, proud that his voice doesn't shake. "Want to dance?"

David looks at Matteo, and Matteo looks right back. The charged feeling is back from the first time their eyes met. But this time the panic doesn't follow. He's not running away. He wants this too much to even think of running away.

"Sure."

Matteo takes David's hand again, pulling him from the couch and towards the makeshift dance floor in the center of the room. The beat is bouncy, everyone around them hopping to the music, hands up in the air. The two jump and spin and laugh along with them. David shouts the lyrics above the nose, and Matteo is starting to love this song too. He's starting to sweat under his tee shirt, hair sticking to his forehead. Matteo has never felt better than in this moment, dancing like an idiot with the most beautiful boy in the world. When the song finally ends, a slower one takes its place.

They stand there looking at each other, grins just shy of manic. The dancing has brought the two impossibly close together, noses inches apart, chests brushing with every labored intake of oxygen. Trading hot breath and intense eye contact. Matteo has never wanted to kiss someone more than in this moment. His eyes dart down to Davids full lips. David looks absolutely stunning, pink cheeked and sweaty and perfect. But Matteo doesn't know if it's ok to try. There are so many other people all around them, and the last thing he wants is to make David upset. But he also doesn't have the strength to pull away, to step back. So he stands there, drinking David in with his eyes, smile going all soft.

"Um," David starts, clearing his throat. He doesn't need to speak very loudly what with Matteo so close. "Could we go somewhere quieter? To talk?"

"Ok."

Pushing through the crowd of people, Matteo and David make it to the quiet and safety of his bedroom. Matteo instantly regrets not cleaning up his room as he watches the other boy look around. His therapists had told him that a clean living space could help with his anxiety, but he hadn't gotten to organizing the mess yet. Thankfully David doesn't comment on the state of the room however, walking by it all before heading to the balcony. Matteo, unable to even imagine doing anything else, follows him outside.

There's a chill in the air that bites at his nose. It helps him feel grounded. David is looking out into the night with a serious expression on his face, arms crossed. Matteo comes to stand next to him, tentative.

"Are you ok?" Matteo asks. _Did I do anything wrong?_ He wants to add.

"Yeah i'm fine it's just. I wanted to tell you something before we- well what I mean is. I like you Matteo. A lot." David admits. Warmth pools in Matteo's belly and cheeks at the words. His whole body tingles.

"I like you too. A lot." Matteo answers, stepping even closer till their arms brush. David's still looking out. Matteo just wants to see his eyes.

"So ehm...the thing is. I'm transgender." The last word is barely a whisper caught between them. But Matteo catches that word, holds onto it. Matteo doesn't know too much about his community, but everything he does know comes from Hans. After Matteo came out Hans had sat him down because 'if your apart of this community you need to know its history.', he had a white board And pamphlets and everything. L, G, B, and T. T for transgender. Matteo knew some surface level knowledge, but not enough to have an intelligent and informed discussion on the topic. He'd have to do some research.

"Ok," Matteo finally answers after a few beats of silence. He can feel David relax slightly next to him, posture less rigid, less closed off. He turns to look at Matteo, finally. His eyes shine with emotion.

"Ok?" David asks, like he doesn't believe it.

"Yeah," Matteo says with a soft smile. "I mean. I like boys. Your a boy. I like you. Being trans doesn't change that. I can't say I know a whole lot about being trans, that I wont say something wrong or screw up at some point. But i'm gonna try my best not to. Because this is important, your important."

Tears gather in David's eyes as Matteo speaks. Matteo wants to wipe them away as the fall, so he does, tender strokes of his thumb under David's eyes. And Matteo wants to kiss him, this beautiful boy who likes him back. So he does. As soon as their lips meet, a soft and questioning press, Matteo feels like he's underwater. Floating. Suspended. Free.

-4-

Matteo is helping the band setup before their performance. Or, well, he's pretending to help. Mostly he's stealing kisses and messing with the drums set and teasing his boyfriend.

Boyfriend. The word always sends butterflies to attack his stomach and a smile to take over his face. They've been dating for about two weeks now, and they've been the happiest two weeks of Matteo's life.

The morning after the party, Matteo woke up in bed with David. They had spent the whole night kissing and snuggling and whispering secrets to each other, long after the party goers had cleared out for the night. Matteo stared at him for a few minutes, just taking in how peaceful and beautiful this boy was when asleep. He was just too much- perfect eyelashes fanning his cheeks, mouth slightly open, soft breaths making his chest rise and fall. Matteo couldn't bare to just look, so he woke him up by blowing a wet raspberry on his neck. David jabbed him in the side with his elbow for that, but the giggle that erupted from him made it so very worth it.

After much convincing and promises of food, Matteo managed to get David out of bed. The two stumbled into the living room, pushing each other playfully, only to find Laura still there, sitting on the couch. She had apparently spent the night with Linn, of all people. The four of them blushed and laughed and grinned and made a truce to not tease one another too harshly. It probably should have been awkward, but wasn't. Matteo made enough Pasta a la Luigi for the whole flat that morning.

Over the weeks Matteo had done a bunch of googling, learning as much as he could about dysphoria and testosterone and pronouns and the gender binary. When Matteo asked stupid questions, David would smile at him while he answered. And when Matteo opened up to David about his diagnosis- that sometimes just getting out of bed would feel impossible, and a room filled with people would seem like the scariest thing he's ever been presented with- David still smiled, and said that it'll be ok. And Matteo knows in his heart that that's true, because he has so many people who love and care about him. People that now includes David.

They went on numerous dates across the two weeks. Riding bikes around the city, eating out at little whole in the wall dinners, and breaking into private property. On one of their more memorable outings they found themselves in an empty abandoned pool. There Matteo learned David is extremely competitive, and much too athletic for his own good. It's just another thing Matteo loves about him. He's thinking about making a list.

David was reintroduced to Matteo's friends officially as his boyfriend. They welcomed him with open arms and congratulated Matteo heartily. The boys might have been a little too enthusiastic about the whole thing, but it filled Matteo with warmth and love all the same. And Abdi thanked David, because his advice had somehow helped him score an actual date with Sam. Things we're looking up for everyone.

And now here they are. Matteo stands right in the front row, in a dingy bar, as Jonas thanks the slowly growing crowd for coming. He's staring at David, and David is staring back. Just like that first night. Except Matteo doesn't feel like running, because this time he knows what David sees. David sees him, the real him. And this time in the crowd with him are all his friends, Carlos and Abdi and Hanna and Amira and everyone else. They're all there for Jonas and Yousef, but for David too. A unified front, supportive in all things.

Matteo sings along with all the choruses to all the songs. He sways to the music, and grins while watching his boyfriend do something he truly loves. Matteo and his friends cheer obnoxiously at the end of every song. Jonas, Yousef and David laugh at their antics. Joy and pride wells up in every cell in his body. Matteo knows he's exactly where he should be.

The crowd is almost fully dispersed by the time the final song rolls around. Matteo and his friend's hang back to congratulate the band when it's all over. He hangs all over David even though he’s sweaty and probably tired and sore from playing. Matteo is content to just stand there, leaning against his boyfriend as everyone chats and jokes and says their goodbyes. Laura comes over and ruffles Matteo’s already messy hair.

“Will I be seeing you boy’s at home tonight?” She asks, question directed at the two of them.

“Nah, we thought we’d give you and Linn the apartment to yourselves.” Matteo teases, and earns him a playful slap on his arm from David.

“You shush,” He reprims. “We’re gonna drop my drum set off at home and them i'm gonna crash at Matteo’s. We have plans to meet his mother for lunch tomorrow and the restaurant is closer to his flat.”

"Alright. Well I'll see you crazy kids later then." Laura says, dropping a kiss on David's forehead before heading off. Most of the others have ducked out too. Just a handful of them are left. Yousef is chatting with and Amira. And Matteo can see Jonas and Hanna standing closely, smiling at each other. Maybe he'll take David's advice too and be direct. Matteo squeezes David one last time before letting him go and standing up straight again.

"Come on. I'll help you get the stuff in the van," Matteo offers, pulling David along with him, back up the stage.

"Oh how kind. How will I ever repay you?" David teases, pinching Matteo's side and making him squeal in protest, batting his hands away.

"You'll just owe me," Matteo shoots back, sticking out his tongue in a terribly childish manner. David just laughs, and helps Matteo take apart his drum set. They begin bringing it outside to the van, piece by piece. David does most of the heavy lifting.

"You guys should get merch," Matteo says while watching David try and fit the last piece into the back of the van. It's like a musical game of tetris.

"What, like tee shirts and stuff?" David huffs. He makes a triumphant noise when he finally gets the piece to stay where it's supposed to. "Would you want to wear one of our tee shirts?"

"Well of course," Matteo says, sitting down on the edge of the open trunk of the van. "I need everyone to know I'm a proper groupie."

David chuckles and slots himself in between Matteo's open legs. Matteo hooks his ankles closed around David's own legs, trapping him. He doesn't seem to opposed to being trapped. His hands raise to cup Matteo's face, always so soft, always so tender. Their lips meet. Once, twice, three times. Quick little closed mouth kisses that make Matteo feel gooey inside. He sighs, content, and David's  hands trail down to the side of his neck. A warm and welcome pressure, grounding.

"Hey David?" Matteo asks, looking up into his beautiful brown eyes.

"Mm?" David hums. He kisses Matteo's cheek, the corner of his eye, his nose.

"I love you." It's the first time Matteo's said it. And the words feel right in his mouth. Beautiful words, true words. David stills. Shock and joy flash across his face, before it settles on a teasing little smile.

"What was that?" David whispers. Their noses bump, mouths brushing with the words.

"Shut up, you heard me." Matteo says, embarrassed. But then repeats himself just as quickly. "I love you."

David traces Matteo's face with his eyes, and then his fingers. He kisses one more searing kiss into Matteo's willing mouth.

"I love you too."

And then it starts to rain. And Matteo laughs. Because of course it does. But he doesn't even mind that he didn't being a coat with a hood, or a beanie, or anything. How could he? And he really should thank Jonas. Because this is all his fault anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank everyone for reading! This is my first published fic in a very long time, so I hope it was ok. I want to write more stuff for these boys soon, because I just love them so much. Kudos and comments would really mean the world to me! You can find me @matteosbian on tumblr. Have a lovely day <3


End file.
